


When Tommy met Alfie -head canons

by When_Tommy_Met_Alfie



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Alfie gets a cold and is a terrible patient, Alfie tries to teach Tommy to cook, And buys him flowers, Domestic Fluff, Finn is self proclaimed maid of honor, Headcanon, M/M, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-09-22 05:41:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17054240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/When_Tommy_Met_Alfie/pseuds/When_Tommy_Met_Alfie
Summary: Collected head canons from my tumblr, based on requests or shorter headcanons I've been sent by people. These are all more or less connected to the larger canon of this series, so they sort of compliment it. But they can definitely all be read as standalone pieces.





	1. Wedding drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First off, a collection of wedding head canons! All the italicized text is anon messages or author's notes. these are all very short, but most of the upcoming ones are longer and more fleshed out

 

  _H/C for Tommy/Alfie telling the characters about their decision to get married?_  

 

* * *

\- An unusually emotional family meeting ensues. 

\- It’s not unusual. Everyone in the Shelby family is always a mess. 

\- Polly already knows, because she generally knows everything. Also, because Alfie talked to her before he proposed. Alfie Solomons fears nothing. Except maybe Polly’s wrath.

\- Ada: “While I’m technically critical of marriage, since it signifies ownership of another person and that is against my political beliefs- I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU and I will be an amazing maid of honour.”

\- Tommy states there will be no maid of honour, since there is no bride. Alfie just looks smug. 

\- Ada states that she will be one, regardless. She makes her own rules. 

\- Finn wonders what a maid of honour is, and if he can be one too. It sounds like a very important mission, which he is definitely up for.

\- He is very upset when Tommy tells him no and pouts until he gets his way. Now onwards to find out exactly what a maid of honour is actually supposed to do. He thinks there may be swordfights involved.

\- Arthur is very offended by the fact that Alfie didn’t ask him for his blessing. Since he’s the oldest and definitely should be in charge of things like this. 

\- Alfie tells him that he’s not even in charge of himself and can fuck off. Glaring ensues. 

\- John’s eyes get suspiciously moist and he blames Esme for kicking his shin under the table. She didn’t. But no-one calls him out. He covers it up by making inappropriate innuendos about the wedding night.

\- Alfie finds this hilarious. Arthur does not. 

\- Esme is excited about the prospect of a party that may or may not end up in a brawl, considering the sort of people that will attend. Also: Alcohol. 

\- Tommy firmly states that there will be no fighting at the wedding.

\- Alfie follows up by saying that there will most _definitely_ be fighting at the wedding. “It’s not a real party until at least five people are comatose, yeah?” 

\- Tommy starts to wonder if a person can spontaneously combust just by wanting it hard enough.

\- Arthur is secretly incredibly moved and on the verge of tears. But that’s neither here nor there. 

* * *

 

 _Anon: My sister and I both ship Tommy and Alfie- we’ll anyway remember that scene where Tommy yells at everyone not to fuck up the wedding? We constantly make jokes that he’d be a bridezilla/groomzilla (?) Idk but the boy’s a mess. He’d be the type to elope, and all I can imagine after that episode was him cursing at everything and wishing death and Alfie like: sweetie, chill (but the bastard’s smiling bc he just married Tommy Fucking Shelby). I wanted to share this with you and I hope you don’t mind!_  

 

 

_**WTMA**  answered: _ _DYING! Of course I don’t mind! I would happily read all types of headcanons you guys have <3 And I also definitely agree: Tommy would be such a mess. Here are a few things I could imagine happening in Tommy’s Complete Wedding Freak-Out™  _

 

\- Being in utter denial of being nervous ‘because it’s just a fucking party’. Glaring murderously at anyone who dares to suggest differently. 

-Going through a literal packet of cigarette per hour. Luckily Alfie makes sure to have extra. At all times. 

-Trying to hide in some weird location with a bottle of whiskey to take the edge off. Ada finding him and dragging him back. 

-Having a Very Serious Talk with his family about behavior that will not be accepted:

”Arthur, if you give a speech and it involves any death threats directed at Alfie, I will throw a chair at you across the fucking room.” 

”Esme, please don’t try to forcefully arm wrestle anyone. Ollie is still traumatized.”

”John, please keep Esme from forcefully arm wrestling anyone.” 

-”Ada, not everything is an innuendo and you can’t add ‘things Tommy will scream in bed tonight’ after every sentence people say. Arthur’s brain will literally explode.”  

-Polly and Finn being the only ones who are excused from this meeting.  

-Getting a cluster headache when Finn asks for the tenth time why he isn’t wearing a dress. Because he’s seen in pictures that people definitely wear dresses at weddings.   

* * *

 

  _Anon: Omg yes the head canons would be amazing! you’re reply to the last one with the wedding freak out made me giggle! I can only think about Finn insisting that dresses have to be worn at weddings and Tommy’s like Finn, I love you but no and now the image of tommy nearly pulling his hair out at his younger brother and the others losing their minds with joy. Especially John who won’t stop mentioning it which leads to Finn talking more about it and tommy nearly killing himself with too much whiskey_

_Wtma: It’s a thing now! Think the format lends itself very well to humor among other things, so of course I had to give it a shot. Also, had to make an addition to The Dress-drama now that you mention it:_

 

_The Dress Kerfuffle and continued chaos surrounding a Shelby wedding:_

-Finn recons that dresses are for pretty people. And Tommy is pretty. Therefore, logically, he should have a dress. He sees no problem with this. 

-Alfie solemnly states that it’s probably the law, so yeah, better safe than sorry.  

-Arthur mostly agrees because it makes Tommy is uncharacteristically red in the face

-They share a rare moment of bonding over Tommy’s suffering. A historic event, truly.   

-Tommy wonders why all the men in his life are awful. 

-John states that this is the best day of his life. Esme glares. 

“Apart from marrying you, of course, sweetheart”

-Tommy leaves the room.

“You are all awful people, and I hope this is as funny when you are burning in hell.”  

-He comes back. 

“Except you Finn.” 

“But the rest of you. You can fry.”


	2. Alfie tries to teach Tommy to cook

  _H/C for Alfie FINALLY getting Tommy to cook, realising just how terrible he is, and then teaching him? Ily as always x_

 

-While making breakfast one day, Alfie gets a phone call that apparently cannot wait.

“Just take care of this for a few minutes, yeah? Make sure nothing catches on fire.” 

-When Alfie comes back a while later, everything looks like coal. 

“This is an artistic interpretation of my soul”. Tommy holds up a piece of burnt toast. “It’s completely deliberate.” 

“You really can’t cook to save your life, can you, sweetie?” 

-Tommy sits down, lights a cigarette, and spends the following minutes sulking while Alfie starts over, muttering something in Hebrew that is probably very rude. 

-Tommy counteracts by muttering equally rude things in Romani. 

-One day, when Alfie is making dinner, he decides that something has to change here. Because what if he gets… sick, for example, and can’t cook for a few days? What will happen then? 

“I would just not eat,” Tommy states simply. 

“What about me?” Alfie feels offended. 

“I’d feed you raw carrots. And untoasted bread.” Tommy shrugs it off. “And tea.” 

-Alfie decides that something has to be done about the situation and -forces/bribes (with promises of certain favours in the bedroom) Tommy into helping with dinner. 

-He gives Tommy the responsibility of chopping things, reasoning that knives are something he knows his way around.     

-Tommy aggressively chops a carrot while maintaining an uncomfortable amount of eye-contact, until Alfie takes the knife away and tells him to just stir the soup instead. 

-Tommy is quiet in that brooding sort of way, and eventually Alfie gives up and asks what’s wrong.

“Do you wish that I was different? Less useless at things like this?” Tommy is scowling, but Alfie knows that’s just code for ‘ _I’m feeling inadequate about my capabilities of being a normal, functioning person and need you to validate me_ ’

-Alfie wraps him in a hug from behind and tells him that no, he wouldn’t have him any other way. 

-Tommy eventually learns the basics on how _not_ to burn absolutely everything to a crisp. Not that he’ll ever admit it, but it’s mostly because he doesn’t want Alfie to starve, were he ever to be indisposed

-And it may be, that when Alfie does get a cold and has to stay in bed, Tommy actually manages to make soup. He very nearly chops a finger off, and there is a lot of cursing involved, but it happens. 

-Alfie is very proud, and Tommy refuses to acknowledge that it makes him happy.


	3. Alfie brings Tommy flowers

_Headcanon: every time Alfie shows up at Tommy’s doorstep he brings flowers. At the beginning it was to fuck with tommy because tommy would just kind of stare and not be his usual sarcastic self for a while. But later on it became kind of a tradition_

-The first time, after very saying a stiff ‘thank you’ and staring blankly at Alfie for a bit, Tommy brings the flowers into the kitchen. 

-Tommy, Arthur and John all sit around the kitchen table, staring at the bouquet and trying to decipher the implied message.  

“Clearly, this is some sort of threat.” Tommy states and lights his third cigarette.

”I’m pretty sure that roses means ’I’m going to stab you repeatedly’- in flower language.” Arthur would be a terrible florist (No, he wouldn’t. He’d be amazing. Just a bit misdirected)

”Maybe they’re poisonous. Somehow.” John is no botanist. No one thought he was one, either. 

-Ada walks past them and mutters that men are fucking idiots.

-Tommy tries throwing the flowers out, but Polly salvages them, stating that the house could use some niceties. Also, it would be rude. 

-Alfie continues to show up with flowers and no explanations, other than a smug grin. 

-Tommy has _not_ begun to appreciate it. Absolutely not. And he doesn’t bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling. Alfie can fuck off. 

”Why is he doing this?” John is puzzled

”Because, John, he’s clearly insane!” Arthur is not. 

-One time, Alfie brings lilies. 

-Arthur states very aggressively that this is clearly just saying: ‘Tommy, these are the flowers you should put on your coffin after I’ve killed you.’

-Ada puts her head on the table and wonders how this family has ever gotten anywhere. 

“We’re not keeping those murder-flowers in the house!” Arthur is adamant about it. 

-Tommy agrees that no, they shouldn’t, and goes to throw them out.  

-The flowers end up in his room anyway.  No-one knows how, it’s all a great mystery. Tommy definitely didn’t put them there.  

-And he definitely doesn’t catch himself looking at them every so often and thinking that it’s sort of nice, getting flowers. Even if they are a thinly veiled death-threat.


	4. Tommy comforting/being soft with Alfie

_For an anon requesting some comforting HCs. Here's a bunch of Tommy comforting/being soft with Alfie_

 

-Alfie rarely gets stressed. But when he does, he handles it extremely poorly and lashes out at everyone and everything. Ollie very nearly gets his head blown off once for asking a question in an annoying voice 

-Luckily, Tommy is quite good at tackling Alfie’s violent mood swings. He will just raise an eyebrow at the whole thing and patiently listen to him rant.

-When his back is hurting or when he’s stressed, Alfie tenses up and clenches his jaw tight enough to give himself a headache. 

-If they’re around the office, Tommy gives him a pointed look from across the room to remind him to relax. Or if he’s close by, gently runs a finger down his jaw until Alfie stops gritting his teeth.

-Stress causes Alfie to have nightmares. Sometimes they’re about the war, but often, he dreams about something happening to Tommy. 

-Tommy always wakes up when Alfie becomes restless in bed. He wraps him in a tight hug and rests his forehead against Alfie’s, whispering whatever soothing words he can come up with, until he settles down again. 

-Sometimes, Alfie wakes up and dazedly fumbles around until he manages to wrap his arms around Tommy. And then they stay like that for the rest of the night. 

-Tommy hates every single aspect of all housework. But he helps Alfie cook on occasion. Though the ‘help’ mostly consists of cutting things and standing close enough for Alfie to grope him every now and then.  

-When they’re sitting at the kitchen table in the morning, Tommy absentmindedly takes Alfie’s hand, without looking up from the paper, and runs a thumb over his knuckles. 

-Alfie doesn’t get sick a lot, but if he does catch a cold, he becomes a big child and is completely incapable of taking care of himself. 

“I’m dying, Tommy, dying. And you’re leaving me to suffer alone?” 

“Well, one of us needs to keep this company running.” Tommy makes Alfie a pot of tea and disappears to the office. But only for a few hours, to make sure there won’t be any backlog, then he comes home to take care of him. Alife looks surly at him when he comes back into the bedroom. 

-“Don’t sulk. I’m home now.” Tommy kisses Alfie’s forehead. 

“I’m not sulking. That’s your thing.”

-Tommy just smiles and goes to make tea. Alfie has already forgiven him. 

-But if Alfie looks pitiful enough in the morning, Tommy just calls Ollie and tells him to bring the paperwork to their house. And then he sits on the bed next to Alfie and works, getting up every once in a while to make him more tea, or change the cold rag on his forehead.

“I’m so lucky to have such a pretty little nurse taking care of me-“ Alfie is very pleased, despite the runny nose.

-Tommy would’ve glared more if Alfie didn’t look so fondly at him. And it makes him feel like maybe he isn’t that awful at this, after all.


	5. Tommy is a doll. Or, at least looks like one

_Anon: I have this fluffy headcanon-ish thing inspired by one of your posts. So you know how Tommy's pretty af (I mean he is played by the most beautiful human I've ever had the pleasure of seeing)- anyway and Alfie obvs calls him doll, bc like you said he's really pretty but also creepy like those china dolls. And that led me to thinking Alfie always follows up 'doll' by imitating Tommy's stare but bursting into giggles everytime like some sort of child and Tommy suffers. Like it never stops_  

_A/N: Love you for sharing this with me!!! Thank you! Had to add a tiny little something to this sweet HC <3 <3 _

_..._

-Whenever Alfie does this, Tommy will attempt to just stare blankly at him. But more often than not, he ends up smiling a bit. Because Alfie’s laugh is very contagious. 

-But also: s u f f e r i ng.

-Why is he with this impossible man?

“Oh, I’m just teasing, darling-“ Alfie pulls him close and kisses his forehead. “You know I love your eyes. It’s a privilege to look into them.” 

-Oh, yes. That’s why.

-The doll-thing becomes a reoccurring theme

“I’ve been thinking… I really should find a safer spot to keep you.” Alfie grabs Tommy by the waist and lifts him up onto their dresser. “Now that’s the proper place.”

-The glare Tommy gives him could probably make hell freeze over.

-When Tommy gets a papercut, Alfie says he’ll get the glue. 

-Though Alife makes sure to constantly remind Tommy that he’s got the most beautiful eyes in the world, and that he can stare at Alfie in whatever way he wants, as much as he likes. 

 


	6. Tommy gets death threats, Alfie freaks out

_Anon: Headcanon: Tommy gets a lot of death threats or threats in general from someone and he takes them seriously but never panics or even fucking blinks and all the time Alfie's freaking out and just jumping about yelling in general and Tommy's like; babe chill I got this- according to Alfie Tommy will most likely end up doing something very Tommy like and nearly die and how the fuck is he supposed to let that happen. This whole thing happens vice versa too and everyone suffers with those two gays_

_A/N: Yeeeeees, so incredibly happy that you took the time to share this with me! I’m honored! <3 Here’s a little something on the theme! ( _Also, this is a topic I’ll be working with in one of my upcoming stories, so more is to come)__

...  


-Whenever they’re in a public place together, Alfie spends at least 70 percent of the time there just glaring at various shady-looking men to make sure they keep their distance.

-They do. If they want to keep their faces intact. 

-He, at one point, punches a seemingly random man in the street, because he was looking at Tommy in a ‘suspicious way’. Tommy is embarrassed. And secretly just a little turned on.  

-Whenever there’s a loud, unexpected noise, Alfie’s first instinct is always to put himself in front of Tommy in some way.

“Alfie, for fucks sake, that was just a car engine backfiring.”

“Well you never know, right. Next time, it may be a bullet.” 

-They get into an argument on who should be in front of the other if such a situation should occur. 

-Alfie gives a very long, aggressive speech to his men about the many gruesome things that will befall them if they ever let something happen to Tommy when he’s in London.   

“If anyone as much as touches a hair on his head, I’ll *insert gratuitous amount of violence/long bleeping sound * and then *bleeeeeep* until you *BLEEEEP * Is that clear?”

-Everyone nods stiffly. It’s clear.

-Tommy doesn’t know about it of course. Because he’d be pissed.

-Though he does have similar, jus a bit calmer, talk with his men in Birmingham. It mostly consists of staring icily at them. 

-Alfie doesn’t know about that. 

-Conclusively: Tommy and Alfie are the Ultimate Power Couple™, but also The Most Dramatic People Ever. And everyone just has to deal with it. 


	7. Other people find out about the relationship, Tommy and Alfie give absolutely zero fucks

_anon: do you have any hc’s about like other important people™ (eg. other gangsters, important ‘authority’ figures, etc.) finding out about their relationship and reacting badly (in like a rly homophobic way)_

_A/N: I’m tweaking the period typical attitudes here a bit, for various reasons, I hope that’s alright! I may work more in depth with the subject in a story. For now: let’s laugh the pain away!_

_Warnings: homophobia_

...  


-It’s general knowledge that Alfie Solomons and Tommy Shelby are in business together. Possibly more than that. Hard to miss, because they’re more or less attached by the hip nowadays. 

-So yeah, they’re probably friendly. 

-And if it _is_ more than that? Well, it’s one of those things people know, but they don’t actually _know_ , do they? It’s not illegal for people to live together. And implications get you nowhere. 

-Also, who is anyone in this business to talk about ‘legal’ really?

-So people keep their mouth shut about it if they value having their head attached to their body. 

-But every now and then, someone tries to use it as leverage in an attempt to gain advantage. It’s of course, doomed to fail.

-Alfie and Tommy develop the habit of purposefully misunderstanding implied threats. Not because they feel the need to deny anything, but because it’s exhausting to deal with people’s shit all the time. 

“You know what happens to people like you, don’t you?” A mobster with a ridiculous facial scar snickers. 

-Alfie nods solemnly. “Right handed people?” 

-Confused silence ensues.    

-Alfie proceeds by telling him, very graphically, what happens to people who put their nose where it doesn’t belong.   

“People like you disgust me.” Yet another walking gangster-cliché looks Tommy up and down. 

“Short people?” Tommy asks without missing a beat. 

“No, I-” 

“Very narrow-minded of you. My life is hard enough as it is.”

“But-“ 

“I can never reach the top shelf. Every day is a struggle”

“…”

-The list goes on.

“Rumour has it that Tommy Shelby spends most of his time in London in your bed. Would be a shame if the wrong people found out.” Vaguely threatening crime-lord number three leers. 

-Alfie leans in and smiles.

“Well, mate, rumour also has it that people who talk shit, end up with their faces cut off in the Thames.” 

-The rest of the Shelby family has their own methods of dealing with it. 

-Arthur and John are at the Garrison one night when a severely intoxicated man comes to hang over the bar-disk next to them.  

“So, I’ve heard that Tommy likes to take it up the-“

-John’s fist connects with his nose. Sometimes, violence is the only solution.

 


End file.
